god, please don’t make me come back
suffering is inevitable but impermanent should i suffer i must remember it is only the iteration of myself in the moment which is suffering once the moment has passed i am made new i am not
that self anymore
should i happen still to identify with that self i must acknowledge i am not that self my self is contingent i am not
my self i am not i am not my self anymore
should i grieve the loss of myself i must take refuge in the certainty that nothing is certain nothing is permanent everything is impermanent including suffering including
soon
as the secondhand ticks sooner than a fraction of a second before
i am not
i am not
i am not
after 35 years of wasted time
i finally know that
it’s so clear
so many decades in the darkness groping blind
the veil’s been pulled back
to reveal
darkness more complete
falls over the peak
the last climb wading through
volcanic ash
summit looms above
dawn might never come
for every step up
slide two steps back
cloud beds stretch for miles
stars pierce points of light
in the predawn glow of the sky
the sun’s a gleaming coin
a heart bursting with joy
god, please don’t make me
come back
down
11:17 